Making connections

The idea for this came to me while mountain biking in the park last Sunday. Coming up around a corner I had to ride in-between a lady walking towards me and also a man walking with his two dogs. I slowed down enough to navigate thu the middle space between them and as I passed I made eye contact with them and we all smiled at each other. It was a nice moment, and felt good. I suppose I could have handled it with aggravation that there was a people jam in my way but it turned into a nice moment of connection with a couple of strangers. That got me thinking about how important it is that we make connections in life.

I’ve spent many a Word of the Day talking about making spiritual connections and the importance of talking to God, not just in prayer, but on a daily basis throughout the day. I’ve written on how to pray, what to pray about, when to pray, and so forth but I’ve never touched on how important it is that we make human connections.

Its true that a spiritual connection with our Heavenly Father is our ultimate goal, and in doing so “streams of living water shall flow from within..” (John 7:38). However, its also true that God made man to have connections with other humans as well.

And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Its so important that we make human connections and share our lives with others. We all have basic needs for human touch, intimacy, etc. So many people in today’s world seem to forego these needs and focus instead on a life of superficial interactions without ever having that connection to others, especially that special connection to “their person”. I can always relate to what I write because the words come from personal experience. I know in my own life I have been very alone and at times felt desperately in need of those connections. Starting over in life for me has meant having to build those connections all over again, almost starting from scratch.

What I’ve found however, is that one of the spiritual gifts I was given was the ability to approach and talk to anyone. Its been surprising to me, and I often do it even without thinking. Looking back I am so fortunate to have that gift, because its let me make those connections all over again and begin to fill my life with others who share my outlook, and who love & respect me for who I am.

Society seems to say to us that it is ok to be alone, that being alone is normal.

It is not OK.

The reality is it is misreable and it is spiritually and emotionally damaging to be alone. If it is extreme enough it can even be physically damaging. There is such a thing as ‘broken heart’ syndrome and the symptoms mimic those of a heart attack.

Every one of us needs those connections. We need human touch. We need intimacy. Sometimes, a lot of times actually, that means putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable, taking a chance that you will get hurt. And if you do, which is likely – picking yourself back up and trying again. Over and over until you succeed.

I’ve been there, and the process left me broken & feeling worthless, but I took the time I needed to get myself back together and start over again. You have to have that attitude. You have to be able to put the pain aside and try again. And again. And again. As many times as it takes until you succeed.

One of the other reasons I take making human connections so seriously is because it is one of the primary ways the devil can gain power over us is through isolation. His goal is to isolate us. By isolating us from others we lose those connections and that support we need. When that happens depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, anger – all of these things start to creep into our lives and fill that empty space.

Especially today in our post COVID world it is so important that we do everything we can to make connections with others. Not just for our sake but for others as well. To help others who may be sinking into despair and loneliness. I read a very sobering statistic recently that three out of every five adults, or 61%, report that they sometimes or always feel lonely. Its even greater for young adults, 18-22 with 73% reporting the same. The study found an interesting link between social media usage and feelings of loneliness. Seven out of 10 heavy social media users, or 71%, reported feelings of loneliness.

There are so many pitfalls and traps in today’s world that prevent us from making connections – its almost like we are being setup to fail. And we pretty much are. The power of the enemy is far greater than we give credit and there are many ways, like social media, that stack the odds in favor of us losing those personal connections. I know this, again from my own personal experience losing something amazing and wonderful in my life that God set in motion – only to have the enemy gain control and destroy it, breaking it apart.

If you are out there and you are alone, start making those connections. Start anywhere. Talk to the checkout person. Ask them how their day is going. Say hello to that person in line when they make eye contact with you. Ask them what they are ordering. Every single one of those connections will bring a smile to both of you I can guarantee that. It will make that persons day and yours a little brighter, even if just for a moment. If we al did this think of what a better place the world would be. We often assume so much about others that is negative and if we just talked and communicated we would find exactly the opposite.

So, go out there and talk to strangers, start communicating with the people in your life, really communicating. Put yourself out there and remember why you are doing it – to make your life and this world a better place, one word, one connection at a time.