I was reflecting on a decision I made recently about a situation that I prayed very hard for about receiving guidance. I prayed to the Lord to show me the right path to take.

In one of those rare occasions, God’s voice spoke directly to me about it. It was short, He told me exactly what I needed to do in the situation.

With the guidance I needed, it was up to me to fill in the details that fit and take whatever action was necessary to fulfill God’s words.

In short it was to contact someone about an apology letter I had written, praying to the Holy Spirit for guidance in my words. That they be honest, truthful, and compassionate. It was written solely for this person, but it was also the much-needed forgiveness I needed for myself and that I’ve wanted to give to the whole situation for months.

I can’t tell you how many times I prayed to God to let me forgive and put all the anger, hurt, and resentment out of my heart. I never could get there, however, no matter how many times I tried.

I understand now why that is. Forgiveness is a step-by-step process and forgiveness cannot come until you are able to take the first step of accountability for your own actions, whatever situation it is. Once I was able to own my role in the situation, stop passing blame, and hold myself accountable, the words I needed to say came out on paper and the burden was lifted off of my shoulders.

I hold myself accountable in this life. I hold myself to a very high standard. Its part of having integrity. I wasn’t able to do that before my salvation. I am very grateful for the spiritual gifts I received from the Lord when I gave myself to Him.

Accountability & ownership in life is like adding a layer of barbwire to your boundaries. Its like an extra layer of reinforcement because you know that if you let others or even yourself violate your boundaries, YOU will be the one held accountable. And that’s no one else’s fault but yours.

True forgiveness is always the goal. There are 3 levels you that must go through in the process of forgiveness before (as a believer) it can be fully complete.

The first level of forgiveness is forgiving someone in your mind. This is where you say the words, “I forgive you”. You can even convince yourself that’s the case by saying things in your mind over and over like “I’m so happy I’ve forgiven you..” etc. But you haven’t. Eventually, the anger, resentment, and hurt always finds a way to creep back in. And you repeat the process over and over never getting anywhere. There’s no letting go & there’s no healing in this place. I’ve known it very well.

The second level of forgiveness is forgiving someone in your heart. This is a critical step and it means you’ve let go. Let go of the incident or whatever, and released yourself from the emotional prison you built. Because that’s what it is. Hold onto the hurt & anger long enough and those wounds will become permanent scars.

The older I get the more people I seem to know who are carrying these scars. They never could fully let go and heal. Its very sad. It breaks my heart because I know its too late. Releasing these emotions from your heart allows you the freedom to move on with your life. Onwards to better things in store for you.

The third level of forgiveness is forgiving someone in your soul. This is true forgiveness. This cannot happen without faith. Most people will never reach true forgiveness, which is very sad. It allows you to not only let go, but to have compassion for the individual no matter how badly they hurt you. Knowing that we are imperfect beings and as such we act in ways that are of this world, and not the spirit.

In other words, when Jesus Christ said, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they are doing.” this is the response we as Christians should also have. To love them in spite of their actions because they are simply following their own human nature.

True forgiveness can only possible if you can say with absolute certainty, “I cast this upon your shoulder’s Heavenly Father.”, knowing that God will always seek justice on your behalf and His response will divinely perfect regardless of what you think the outcome should be. “It is in your hands, Heavenly Father.”

“Not my will be done, but yours Lord.”

If you can say this and truly believe it you will have more freedom & healing than you ever thought possible. To love your enemies in spite of their actions, and do it with all your heart and soul is the very definition of Christ’s love.

And Its faith that builds the bridge to the soul that makes this possible. Without faith, there cannot be true forgiveness in life.